Chadwick

 It’s day 33 in this new world. These folks the nice lady with wings put me with have me worried. I don’t think they are terribly smart. I’ve been telling the pretty one for days that short sleeves make my wrists look fat, but what have I worn for the past week? You guessed it.

In the beginning it was easier. The cozy one was around more and the pretty one wasn’t quite so sleepy. They were funny. When I was telling them that I was hungry, they would run around trying to figure out what I was saying. Of course, they’d try all the wrong things and I’d have to start screaming at them until they finally got it right.

That brings me to another thing; the food. What the heck, people? Talk about blah and yuck. Can we try to get some flavor up in here, or is that too much to ask? Maybe the reason that I let so much of that gunk roll down my chin into my neck folds. And why do I have the same stuff every meal when my caretakers get to put these hunks of food in their mouths, munching away, on all kinds of stuff that smells amazing?

Anyway, I got distracted. It’s day 33 and life is sure interesting. Today, Pretty One took me out of the house for the first time this week. It was terrible. First, she put me into this short-sleeved shirt that said, “Daddy’s lil’ Superhero”, with matching pants. She plopped me into the seat with the horrible straps in it and we got into the noisy box. Then I fell asleep, like I always do. I don’t know what it is, but that thing is like my kryptonite.
Suddenly, Pretty One was grabbing me out of the seat and taking my clothes off. I said, ‘what in uterus are you doing?’ She ignored me. Some Big grabbed me up and poked and prodded me until I’d had enough. I mean, why do you need to look into my ears anyway? Finally, Pretty One put my stupid shirt back on and we went back home. She kept saying, ‘you’re such a good little monster.’
‘Excuse me, ma’am. Who are you calling “monster”, Ms. Giant?’ Again, she ignored me.

So, now I’ve been chilling in the swing in front of the window, waiting for Pretty Big to make me some supper. I keep falling asleep listening to her watching Glee. That music-thing is pretty cool. I remember hearing it when I was swimming in the warm, dark pool. Even though the Bigs don’t seem to understand me, and half the time I don’t understand what they are talking about, music makes sense to me. It’s like magic.

Oh, she just said, ‘Here we go, little monster.’ I think she means me, but that’s not the name the Old Man gave me when he told me he was sending me here. He said, ‘You will be called Chadwick. I hope you enjoy your new home, Chadwick. The people I’m sending you to are very sweet. They’re a little silly and nerdy, but all they want is a little one to love. You’re going to be that for them, ok? Good luck, Chadwick.’